Have you ever had one of those days when you have a lot to accomplish, but zero motivation to do any of it? 

Me too.

Only it's lasted about three weeks now. 

Maybe it was the move...maybe it's my age...maybe years of drinking chardonnay at night after my kids are tucked in bed is finally catching up with me, but I just cannot seem to get myself together to make the phone calls I need to make, order the gifts I need to order for the holidays, finish the book I said I would finish writing before the year's end...

What the hell is the matter with me??????????

On top of a lack of motivation, I am continually forgetful.  Like not running an errand Tom as asked me to run, or putting dinner in the oven so it is ready to eat by 6 p.m....at least I haven't left a kid anywhere by accident lately.  (Although I am sure it is only a matter of time).

My mom says this is what happens in your mid-forties, get used to it.  I told Tom what she said...he told me that was totally unacceptable. 

I did get my Christmas cards out last week (she says as she pats herself on the back).  Well, most of them anyway.  This actually happened because I had these cute "We've Moved" cards to send out and I finally realized they would never actually leave my desk area. 

It's much more fun to send a card with our family photo in it.

Complaint number three on this gray Texas morning...I am incredibly easily distracted.

Unless I am reading Facebook.  For some reason random postings of other people's lives fascinate me (and deter me from accomplishing anything).

Complaint #4:  I am sad to say I find myself less than excited about the holiday season.  The holidays were much more fun when we had lots of little kids in the house you know?  And family around.  There were plenty of cute toys to wrap or assemble after getting them to bed on Christmas Eve, food to make and eat, laughter to share.  Now it's mostly about small electronic devices that take up a quarter of the the space underneath the tree and the few of us that are in town gathering for a quiet evening.

Mia is the only one who is still believing at this point,  I am willing to bet this will be the last year for that as well...I find this both joyful and depressing at the same time.  Joyful because I don't have to lie any longer, depressing because I know some of the levity and magic will disappear as it did with each of my other kids finding out "the truth".

Nick was here for Thanksgiving (which was terrific), but will not be up for Christmas.  Allen-Michael has been in Rome since September and will be traveling to all sorts of interesting European countries while on his school holiday break. 

So, Christmas at our house will be all sorts of different this year.  And quiet.

God I am a Debbie Downer...

On the bright side though, these things I find to whine and complain about are so incredibly minor compared to what other families may have to deal with this holiday season I will stop complaining and stay focused on the many, many, many blessings the year has brought us!

Like the fact that my dad is in town visiting right now, it is great to spend some time with him!  And, we get to host a NET team (www.netusa.org) next weekend, SUPER excited about that!  And, we are enjoying the warmth of our new-to-us-renovated-home (more pictures to come as we finish up some awesome projects). 

Life is actually pretty freak'n wonderful...

It's funny how music can lift your mood as well.  Over the past few weeks whenever I am feeling a bit melancholy while in the car this song just happens to pop on my Hits 1 Sirius XM station...take a listen, hope it changes the pace of your day as well.

 



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