As she looks across the table at me, it's easy to see the raw pain in her eyes. The wonder in how she got here. I'd seen it untold times before...hell, I'd witnessed it in myself on many an occasion. Her tears flowed from a space deep within as she shared the story of feeling unworthy and undeserving of the beautiful [on the outside] life she lives. Her fairy tale mask covers a self-loathing game she plays with herself every. single. day. It's EXHAUSTING.
And in this moment she vulnerably shares her heart with me. Because she knows I have been there, will understand, won't judge, and will hold space for her while she finally, actually feels what's she's worked so hard to suppress for just too damn long.
WHEN WAS THIS BORN?... this sense of never feeling "good enough?!"
She regales me with the story of how she goes to great lengths to take care of the children (90% of the time with a smile on her face), to keep the house clean (as well as one can with the chaos of daily life constantly in tow), how she shuttles her offspring, and often others as well, safely to their destinations so they can enjoy extra-curricular activities and camps, how she volunteers in the school and community when all the while what she might really want to indulge in (a walk? a book? a warm bath? coffee with a friend?) continues to get put on the back burner.
Because she would feel guilty if she put herself first. Her perception of love and acceptance comes from the doing of life rather than from her actually knowing that she is loved and treasured just for being.
And this is what she is imparting on her children.
MOM you are worthy of love and acceptance JUST FOR BEING. And when you love and accept yourself without condition you allow your children to do the same and to grow into human beings who will then love and accept themselves for their own unique inner (and outer) beauty.
THIS is what so many moms go through...the emotional chaos of trying to keep it all looking physically and mentally "together" while inside they are feeling unworthy of love and never good enough. FOR WHO???? Putting pressure on themselves to keep it all together in order to be accepted in the eyes of her peers, her family, her children, her partner...
And underneath that award-winning-actress performance she feels small, voiceless, and alone.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Terri Britt, author of a book and meditation series called The Enlightened Mom, a set that has changed my life. During the interview we talk about the emotional pain moms internalize and suppress and how that pain gets played out in the family.
The upside is that if she is willing to find the courage and take the first step into healing her emotional wounds (many of which stem from unprocessed childhood experiences that get resurrected through the behaviors of her spouse and children), and then to do the work to reconnect with herself ,she will be a shining example to others (her children, spouse, extended family, friends, community...) of peace, confidence, joy and standing in her God-given light.
MOMS ARE THE KEY to shifting the emotional well-being of the next generation.
I hope you will grab your favorite beverage and sit back and enjoy the interview. If you are interested in learning about the details for Terri's upcoming workshop in the Dallas area on October 20-21st, please go here to register and BRING A MOM YOU CARE ABOUT WITH YOU, IT'S FREE!